Friday, September 26, 2014

Krowpseed Oil (or, Channeling Carlin Again)

You know something I think ought to be done about rape? Change its name. "Rape" just isn't a scary enough sound. That long "A" actually sounds kind of pleasant, like plāying on a sunny dāy with my bāby, hoorāy! We need a rougher vowel...something like "rowpe". "Ow" is a nicely rough sOUnd, like someone getting astOUndingly pOUnded into grOUnd meat in DachAU. OUCH! And maybe stick a K in front of the whole thing. K is a nice, aggressive consonant. I think people would be more likely to think twice before committing "krowp". Which sounds a little like its cousin activity, "grope", but worse. Of course, this is a rough draft; I'm open to better suggestions. (Such as, teaching and telling our peers and children not to krowp.)

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