I don't actually have anything to say at the moment. I just thought the blog needed a little more green.

I saw an advertisement on the bus: "You've found a cure for cancer; now take it to market." I got a better idea: "You've found a cure for cancer; now CURE SOME &%@#ING CANCER PATIENTS!!!!!!

*sigh* Another one for the "Good ol' Fashioned Stupidity" tag

I should get a laptop.

That way, when I'm out at the record stores, I can instantly look at my other blog and make sure I don't already have something before I buy it again.

High definition: Like......maaaan....it's when, like......everything just seems so CLEAR....and REAL, man........you gotta try this!

A lot of people's allergies are acting up this time of year. 'Tis the sneezin'.

Creepy is....

....Thinking, while supposedly asleep, that you hear your father whispering to you about doing stuff before your mother gets home if he were you.



It must have been the rain or something......

I was thinking.....you know how inbreeding produces, um, messed-up offspring? Well, if all the theories about the origin of the universe are true, it would explain a lot........

Suppose a tornado came around here at 10 AM on the first Tuesday of the month. Would anyone realize it?


(If this makes no sense to you, then I explain: 10 AM on the first Tuesday of the month is when they test the sirens.)

I dreamt I was snuggling Lucy, and when I woke up, my head was ridiculously buried in my pillow......

I miss Google-bombs.

I couldn't afford to see Springsteen, 'cos times is rough.

Writing from work....

...Because my home Internet connection is out. Apparently the earliest they can get out to look at it is Thursday (when I'm likely to be in class). So if you miss me, that's why. Cheers.

Headline that I, for one, would have thought twice about

Senator Kennedy, liberal giant, buried

—Reuters

Phrase heard in local car dealer ad

"...brand new used car..."

Latest story idea......

Husband kills wife out of frustration over her failure to pay attention to him because she's wholly engrossed in "Law & Order"-type television shows.

Questions/Answers/Advice about home recording with Audacity?

Feel free to join the technical discussion in the comments of my It's Psych song post. Cheers!

There are few things so annoying as people who ask questions of you and immediately answer them for you.

What the HELL are those new parking machines on the streets of Chicago? Only quarters, dollar coins, and credit cards? What's wrong with dimes and nickels? Or dollar bills, for that matter? Can't these things make change? And what's wrong with individual meters? Was the perk of finding a meter with time on it from the previous car too much of a strain on the economy? (Hey, it's possible...) I suppose I could Google it, but I'm not going to....

True Brilliance is....

...A toaster, the lever of which will not get pushed all the way into toasting position unless the thing is plugged in.

We have one of those at home.

We don't have one of those where I am now.

First Christmas ad of the season! August FIRST this year!

Idea

Vehicles powered by human waste.

Can it be done?

How awesome would that be? We create our own fuel for our vehicles while finding a practical use for our own "waste."

And, for cryin' out loud, don't tell the suits!

Christ, there's that headline again: "World's Oldest Man Dies." STOP IT! The world's oldest people are always dying! It's not news!

The powers that be realized the error of their ways when they heard Jackson Browne's "The Pretender." So they did away with ice cream vendors.

My Wholly Bizarre and Incredible Excuse For Today

Usually, when I'm here, I dream about a variation of my aunt's house, and when I'm at my aunt's, I dream about a variation of here. So when I dreamt of here when I was here and then woke up here, I got confused and went back to sleep, expecting to wake up at my aunt's.

The Mandrake Memorial - s/t (a quick review by ~C.A.~)

A wonderfully odd mixture of pop and baroque sounds with just a slight dash of rock. Many of the songs feature a pseudo-harpsichord sound. Me, well, though my favorite song on here is the well-paced "Dark Lady," I think that, overall, the softer sounds on this album are the ones that work the best. The vocalist's voice seems especially well-suited to soft sounds. Some of the musical themes seem to reappear throughout the album, as though the whole album were a Beethoven-esque symphony. All said and done, though, this is a nice album. Some soft moments, some odd moments, some songs that run right into each other, and a proper psychedelic ending with voices and a sound effect. Good stuff.

What exactly is "passion fruit"? It's all over the friggin' supermarket now.

Dead Celebrity Round-Up

Bad time for celebrities these days. It only seems like my humble duty as a blogger to face it. When three of them depart on the same day that I see the largest real rainbow I've seen in a long, long time, it's rather difficult to ignore. And I know it's probably coincidence, but it still lingers in the mind like the smell of curry. (These are not designed to be jokes in poor taste. I'm just telling it like I perceive it. I turned 23 this past Friday.)

Ed McMahon: My generation might remember him as the Publisher's Clearing House guy. I'm only vaguely aware of who Johnny Carson was.

Sky Saxon: Does the Seeds' founder qualify as a celebrity? Well, although I've not had much success getting into the Seeds' brand of garage/psych, this is probably the one of the recent that affects me the most.

Farrah Fawcett: Never really known much about her. I may recall the occasional headline about her battle with cancer. I caught an episode or two of "Charlie's Angels" a couple nights ago; she does have a nice smile.....

Michael Jackson: All due respect to Michael Jackson (however much that may be), I was never a fan. Don't much care for the music; in my life, he's mainly been a tabloid and media favorite, not unlike Paris Hilton or the "Octomom." And you know how much I care about tabloid and media favorites......

Billy Mays: All I can say about Billy Mays is: Advertisements will seem quiet without him.

A Scene I'd Like to Enact

Two guys, one of which is me, at a bus stop. I'm in yellow; other guy's in cyan (or light blue, if you prefer).

Hey.

How ya doin'.

Eh, not too bad. I'd be a lot better if the coffee machine were fixed, but I should be able to have everything done on time.

Ah, you dig that whole "deadlines" thing, huh?

Hang on a sec....I'm not talking to you; I'm on the phone.

....Ah.

....Yeah, I'll CC the whole HR department. Shouldn't be a problem. .......Talk to you later. Bye. .....Haven't you learned to tell when someone's talking on the phone yet?!

Hang on a sec....I'm not talking to you; I'm talking to the voices in my head. .......Yeah, nevermind that stuff, why don't you just throttle him by the neck? Let him know you're not a &$@# robot! .....Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! Catch you later. ........Anything else I can do for you?

Anyone else ever feel like they've pulled a muscle yawning? I've done it a few times now. It's really weird and unpleasant.

Honing My Nonexistent Stand-Up Routine

WARNING: This post contains language and imagery that some may find crude and perhaps even offensive. If such material upsets you, you may wish to scroll down to the next post. (Look for a change in color.) It's a lot easier than ignoring this warning, reading this post, getting upset and taking me to court in the hopes that the Patriot Act completely reversed the first amendment of the U.S. Constitution. You've been warned. I am not an ATM.

I heard an ad during the Cubs game for one of those cars that responds to spoken commands, except, for this one, you maintain a normal, casual speech pattern. Wouldn't that make it difficult to have a normal conversation with someone while in the car? Suppose you're on the speakerphone (no hand-held phones, please), and you tell someone at home to "pick up milk on the way home." Will the car think you're talking to it, automatically drive to a place with milk and then make its own way to your house? Or maybe it'll consider the dealership or the factory where it was assembled "home" and go there? If you tell the kids in the back to "be quiet," will the car again assume that you're talking to it, and shut itself down so it doesn't make any noise? How about if you tell someone to "go fuck yourself"? What kind of tricks might the car perform? Suppose you're frustrated about something and utter an exasperated "Fuck me!" Could the car accommodate this request? Suppose it's not willing. Can you be legally charged with attempted rape of an automobile?

I don't need a "Transformers"-type car that's actually a pseudo-living intelligent being. My sense of direction is great. If I wanted live transportation, I'd get a horse.

Keep it simple.

Message to David Letterman (and possibly others)

Please, please, on bended knees, with a cherry on top, or two cherries, or even a whole watermelon if you want, but please — let Sarah Palin fade into obscurity, I am begging you......

We'll be right back to "male enhancement" commercials right after this fraction of a movie on AMC.

What is the purpose of only partially slicing bagels? They do it at Panera, they do it at the grocery. Either slice the bagel or don't! Preferably don't, because once it's sliced, it can't be un-sliced. At least the bagel place on Touhy near Cicero Ave. knows enough to leave the bagels whole. (They got great chive cream cheese, too!)

You never hear about an "ugly cat" contest.

You ever try to randomly refer to "Audi"s, the cars, in casual conversation? It sounds like you're talking about "outies," like belly buttons. It's weird and confusing.

(edit: Recently saw this in an old "Family Guy" episode....)

On the New McDonald's Campaign

Terriblé.

(edit: I think they've realized it. I haven't seen those ads in a while now.)

(edit 2: Oops...maybe not. They've revived it. Damn.)

The "best" of something ain't necessarily good.

Can somebody please explain to me the logic of allowing the broadcast of certain programming on terrestrial radio but not on streaming online radio? First it was the Cubs, now it's Dr. Demento. And I suppose I should have expected MLB to be greedy like that, but the good doctor? Something is not right about this.

Transpormer

"Transformers" and "Transporter" apparently got popular at about the same time, and I'm always getting them mixed up.

Jason Statham getting medieval on some humongous robots? How 'bout it?

Dairy Queen's "lips" advertising icon needs to die.

A Comic Strip Without the Strip

"Hey, man, we heard you next door. You're pretty good at Guitar Hero, dude!"

(guy opens the door, and is revealed to be holding an actual electric guitar with strings, plugged into an amplifier) "'Guitar Hero'? What's that?"

I know....it sounds clichéd.....

There is nothing....no entity, no concept, no dessert, nothing....that can evoke quite the same feelings, the same psychological "high," as being at a Dead concert in person.

Maybe it helps that I was basically raised in such a way that I "frequented" these things at an early age, so I'm more accustomed to the atmosphere of peace, love, smoke and alcohol than other people may be.....but you get used to that, you know most of the songs, you have a
far
out
time. Sometimes they play a song I don't know so well....still sounds cool, though. I still don't know which song it was, but I have my eye on a website that has all the set lists so far on this Spring '09 tour, so I'll find out soon. Whatever it was, it was a great-sounding bit of fun, quick-paced rock and roll.

They picked out, among others, two of my favorite studio songs: "Weather Report Suite" and "Unbroken Chain", the latter of which our previously uninitiated companion agreed was "beautiful." I swear, I was on the verge of crying my eyes out, overcome by the sheer beauty and surreality of the experience, while hearing these songs, as well as the encore, "Brokedown Palace". Again, maybe I'm biased, having been raised on this music, but it truly is a wonderful experience, sharing and soaking up the groovy vibrations with thousands of kindred spirits.

It must be experienced in person. Watching a DVD recording or just listening to a bootleg on a computer or tape deck is NOT the same. Unless you can somehow get thousands to gather around a giant amplifier through which a concert recording is played and behave the same way as they do when the Dead are actually there. I don't think that's happened yet, though, so even that is somewhat doubtful.

A few selections they played that I can remember (neither the complete set list nor in order):

Dancing in the Street
Tennessee Jed
Mister Charlie
They Love Each Other
Truckin
Throwing Stones
Touch of Grey
Drums > Space > Come Together
Hell in a Bucket
I Know You Rider

And I finally figured out what the other song was through a bit of Googling: The Golden Road (to Unlimited Devotion)

(I know.....I'm not the biggest Deadhead ever. Still not totally evil, though.)

Peace and grooviness.