Birthday Song of Our Time

ooh I know you've probably had quite a time of it of late
and now it's come your birthday, and you ain't feelin' so great
but consider that you're still here and hangin' in
and that all by itself is a major win

{so congratulations, you made it again around the sun
so let that be solace and permission to have yourself some fun
you can go out or stay in and relax, it's your way
just do what it takes to have your Happy Birthday}

oh maybe you're lamenting that your youth has gone away
'cos you've been trained to see old age as not OK
but why worship youth when we're lucky if we know how to be
experience and wisdom are the things to set our minds free

{}

oh maybe you're feeling trapped in pain and misery
you're one of many innocent victims of the powers that be
ah but misery is just what they want for you, don't you know
their satisfaction is not among the things you may owe
(no!)

{}
yeah go on and carve yourself out that Happy Birthday

Holding Out For a Rainbow

Caught in the middle of a flood and a high place
I didn't ask for this, it just fell from disgrace
nevertheless I got a little bit of stockpile
hope it will be enough to get me through this mean while
I'm

holding out for a rainbow
beautiful signal that the worst is over
I'm
holding out for some sun glow
clean up this mess and the storm that drove 'er

yeah I know I said we need
some rain to make things bright
but this ain't harmonic balance
it's a horrifying plight
now I'm sure that I'll be rescued
to start somewhere anew
until the next catastrophe comes through!

caught in the middle of a roof in a hot state
that goes against everything that I deem great
could this catastrophe awaken some senses
please let it be 'cos I'm low on defenses
I'm

holding out for a rainbow
beautiful sight opposite skies ever more blue
I'm
holding out as the hours go
if no rainbow, just a pretty sunset'll do

y'know no one is an island
but my house has become mine
these waters best recede soon
before I lose my mind
I'm sure that I'll be rescued
and taken somewhere else
as long as they can rescue themselves!

I'm holding out for a rainbow
beautiful arc or two to bring me serenity
looking out toward the plateau
somebody take me to dry land of amenity

now my body's getting achy
on this angled shingled slope
and I see more clouds a-comin'
and I'm starting to lose hope
now I could still be rescued
and taken somewhere dry
but if there is no beauty, then why?

Zealot

so you fantasized
yourself a gigantic sized
being, all knowing, all powerful and everywhere
you romanticized
this and thus infantilized
everyone around you but you better beware
for what you prophecized
now has become realized
your toxicity's blown into the air
it could materialize
in your shallow ocean eyes
you cannot wash it away with a prayer
if that happened, would you finally care?

oh, you prayed so hard for the rapture
now we're all gonna see it come true
when that poisoned rain falls at'cha
it's gonna wash you to heaven
only leavin'
a smoldering heap of clothes and shoes

ah, you grazin' ovine
growin' evermore blind
in the pasture that you claim is the lord's
oh he's so divine
castin' the sunshine
and makin' you look GOOD with his swords
well best bear in mind
as you fall right in line
what becomes of such automated hordes
for you're bound to find
he is not the loving kind
destruction and sadness will be your rewards
is that really what you wanna head towards?

oh, you prayed so hard for the rapture
now we're all gonna see it come true
when that poisoned rain falls at'cha
it's gonna wash you to heaven
only leavin'
a steaming pile of clothes and shoes

now be petrified
god fearer, look beside
you and find you're just the same as those who resist
it can't be denied
we're all on the same ride
and we ain't gonna heed no christofascist
can you fathom why we are all pissed?

gah, you prayed so hard for the rapture
now we're all seein' it come true
as the dark grey cloud cracks and flashes
it's gonna burn us to…someplace
only leavin'
a smoking orb....

are you happy now
are you happy now
are you happy now
are you happy now
(said)
are you happy now
are you happy now
(come on, tell it)
are you happy now
are you happy now
(speak up, zealot)
are you happy now
are you happy now
(stand and yell it)
are you happy now
yeah are you happy now
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

Strands of Time

years hence
the dogs of war
will reach their shore
assail no more

tears thence
will greatly flow
before they slow
the weight to know

we could have greatly soared

here in our time
we have bumbled blind
neath the castles high
in the sands of time

rip tide
is rising high
the end is nigh
you wonder why

hips tied
interlocked eyes
release our sighs
and then we'll rise

we bear spirit, our sword

all in good time
we will make the climb
to reign of rhyme
cross the lands of time

link hands
find a way
to allay
judgement day

think bands
bust the haze
beat the maze
to brighter days

good life may be restored

being out of time
is just frames of mind
let our forces bind
play the strands of time

all in good time
we will make the climb
to reign of rhyme
cross the lands of time

here in our time
we can skim the grime
freshly make it shine
on the sands of time

Let's Get Analog

I hope this doesn't come off as ableist. I realize that contemporary techology is, in fact, essential to many. Still, I wonder what it's like on the other side of the screen...

****

when there's a will there's a way
when there's a way there's an expectation
that ain't great today
you gotta meet it or face damnation
who wants to live at this breakneck pace
i'd rather keep my neck intact
so take me out of this high tech place
and its absurd social contract

let's get analog
and see if we still get along
i don't think it could go too wrong
living life in analog

here you gotta have a car
and the ability to drive and afford it
a phone from which you're never far
and don't you dare turn it off or ignore it
you gotta do everything right now
and every waking moment hence
your health and spirit just fly right out
is it worth the expense?
(i say dispense with it)

let's get analog
and see how well we get along
i feel like we could do no wrong
living life in analog

let me know if you really want to
you know i'd love to get analog with you :+)

now they're threatening to unleash
supercomputers of a kind called quantum
though digital's overreached
so let me tell you now, i don't want 'em!
the road to hell's paved with good intentions
just watch these things go sour real fast
from accidents or police apprehensions
utopic visions don't last

{let's get analog
and see how well we get along
i feel like we could do no wrong
keeping it real in analog}(x2)

Touch the Sky

Posted here for, and chiefly inspired by, Mary Jennings.

****

I'm lost deep in a musical piece
a sonic wonderland from which I want no release
I'm feeling invincible like floating on air
melodies beyond compare
I get entranced whene'er I hear them

Sing
it's something I can't help but want to emulate
you know I
Think
if I only were to give it a try, I'd
touch the sky

I got to step right out of my mind
into a different kind
and I will see what I find
if I can breathe something new into my own sound
I could flip fortune around
upturn the frowns
oh I just want to

Sing
and have someone listen to me and appreciate it, I
Think
if I only just keep at it then I could
touch the sky

all of my life I hear the people just scoff
their heads in a coif
how am I going to achieve liftoff?
(Liftoff!)

I just want to
Sing
and have someone listen to me and appreciate it, I
Think
that I could go high if I could go high
I just want to
Sing
in a way that can confront this air and penetrate it, I
Think
the time at last for my dream is nigh, to
touch the sky

songbird gotta fly

Let Myself Go (draft)

Had a job for a year and a half
It was great until the change of staff
Suddenly I was respected no more
And the insurance wasn't worth working for
So at the ACA window
I let myself go

Didn't know where to go, but I knew
My days of traditional work were through
With market insurance, I could do anything
I could drive, craft, write, play or sing
So to hell with the rat race show
I've let myself go

Now I'm getting to live at a natural pace
So far, the bills have fallen into place
And I'm taking it easy, which is great, but
Past few weeks, I've developed an expanded gut
As my pants grow tight, I say whoa
I've let myself go

Raised on Rock (draft, as ever)

You shine your light on my sapling
but never any rain to nourish
I need the food of stormy spring
if you expect me to flourish

see I was raised on rock
a hard outer shell to secure my soul
and withstand each knock
'til I can't take it no more and I lose all control
I got to make it stop
you know that one broken part's fixin' to take its toll
yeah I was raised on rock
but I had to roll

now I walk across desert sands
dryness and heat surely try me
if I could just have helping hands
to support and amplify me

'cause I was raised on rock
a hard outer shell to imprison my soul
with an iron lock
'til I can't take it no more and I lose all control
I got to make it stop
you know that one broken part could bring down the whole
yeah I was raised on rock
but I had to roll

my best slammed down, I want to cry
you say suck it up and be tougher
that mindset is exactly why
untold millions more will suffer

'cause I was raised on rock
a hard living hell to deprive my soul
and absorb each shock
'til I can't take it no more and I lose all control
we got to make it stop
you know that one broken heart will beget many more
yeah I was raised on rock
but I had to roll

Want You

being near a
twirling whirling spirit
gonna be a big deal
baby don't ya
get together
underneath the weather
grind me neath a high heel
won't ya
split the sky
with your paralysing eyes
and a care that you don't give
you woo me
wild thing
well you surely make me sing
with the tiny little ways
you do me

cross the gulf
so acidic with the sulfur
hopelessly you turn me on
and the way that things be
I'm sure you see
I want you

from my perch
well I hate to be besmirched
by a bad reputation
that ain't mine
the mere thought
of the trauma others wrought
gives me bad palpitations
I ain't lyin'
just to be
in your aura is the key
and I hope that you won't mind
too much
if you trust
that it's not just out of lust
maybe you'll be open in time
to touch

cross the sea
full of toxins and debris
there's a bright and flagrant dawn
you're the breaking of the day
and that's just the way
I want you

from my bench
well I hate to bear the stench
of a bad reputation
that ain't mine
just the thought
of the pain that others wrought
gives me bad palpitations
I ain't lyin'
just to be
'round you and your energy
please I hope that you don't mind
too much
wild thing
now you've surely made me sing
hopin' you'll be open in time
to touch

cross the ocean
rippling with commotion
continental lines are drawn
and upon my distant shore
forevermore
I want you

Motorize

all gone inside
in light denied
no love outside
unclosing eyes

all dead inside
what thrill to find
key to ignite
step out and drive

motor eyes
pierce the night
render trite
the bounds of day

cauterize
the void inside
keep its widening at bay

all good in spite
waxing moonlight
within these lines
an engaged mind

motor eyes
pierce the night
render trite
the bounds of day

cauterize
the void inside
keep its widening at bay

motor eyes
pierce the night
render moot
the bounds of day

cauterize
the void inside
keep its widening at bay

motor eyes………

Andropocene

used to be cool
calm too, me & you
the occasional clash
barely a splash, gone in a flash
But now it's strange
more heated exchanges, get more deranged
and with greater force
we're on a bad course, toward divorce(?)

Your temper is hotter
yet you are colder, all the same
the nagging thought of
the fact that I may be to blame

These hot emissions
with such repetitions, make these conditions
We blew our caps
with our mishaps, incurred collapse
the floodgates wide
the times we cried, intensified
There's no return
We're going to burn in this inferno

Your temper is hotter
yet you are colder, all the same
The nagging thought of
the fact that I may be to blame

My selfish greed
did supercede your wants and needs
And I don't know if I can fix it
it's like an addiction
affecting all I've known and loved
taking us under
I hear that thunder…

Your temper is hotter
My weight to shoulder, my crying shame
the nagging knowledge
that I'm the one to blame

Meet Me on the Left

There are two different contemporary pop songs about meeting in the middle. Thus I felt a need to write this.

****

Look around
there is no middle ground
right is wrong
Where do you belong?
Won't you meet me on the left?

A compromise
will e'er more shut your eyes
the middle validates
racism and hate
Won't you meet me on the left?

Meet me on the left
Help to ward off freedom's theft
Meet me on the left
Without you we're bereft

World dies
oceans on the rise
carbon to curb
rouse the undisturbed
Won't you meet me on the left?

Folks get shot
a system fully bought
you cannot deal
with the fully evil
Won't you meet me on the left?

Meet me on the left
Help to ward off freedom's theft
Meet me on the left
Help us lifting this heft

You mean to accept
as human precept
eternal jail
just for being female
Won't you meet me on the left?

Look around
there is no middle ground
stand and fight
don't give in to the right
Won't you meet me on the left?

Meet me on the left
Help to ward off freedom's theft
Meet me on the left
Else you can… get effed

Oh, Hi, Blog.

I just made myself a bowl of salad. I've done this often enough. But today I was struck by how many times I deposited something in the trash can. The various strips I tore off the tops of bags to open them. A plastic bag of the lettuce blend that I emptied. Something cat-unfriendly that fell into the cat hair. The trash can was already about full, with take-home containers from restaurants covering most of the other contents. There's no recycling facility around this bit of the burbs.

I live, or perhaps "dwell" is a better word, basically alone, with my two cats. I have not kept track of how often I change the kitchen trash bag. I know my small upstairs trash is overflowing, as ever. I don't often get around to changing that one, but usually when I do, somehow, it's back to overflowing within two days, per my own distorted perception of time. Used tissues, the torn-off bits of my pay stubs, copious cat hair from brushing Kadie the tabby, the occasional chocolate wrapper. The whole rest of my room is just slightly chaotic, with envelopes and business ads strewn about miscellaneous items. One of them is from my dentist that I still haven't seen; my mother gave it to me. I've kept it for reference, even though I know where they are and can therefore glean their number from Google Maps.

Yes, my own life is perhaps at least a tad messy. But I could well be a symptom of the culture that produced me.

I'm making my living in a convenience kitchen. The particular store I work is quite high volume for its kind. Also, it's in Tennessee — a state with some of the nation's strictest food laws, per co-workers in the know. Any way, if you've worked "on the ground" in a business, you may know...

So. Much. Waste.

And, to add insult to injury, my company does not allow food that's been written off to go to any use whatsoever. Even though it's been officially written off as waste, they consider it theft if someone takes home and/or consumes, for instance, the two cookies that were in the warmer and didn't sell before expiration. Surely it's this policy that's theft! Perfectly good, warm cookies in the eyes of the single mother that's going to her other job when she gets off in two hours. Straight to the trash. Right with the country.

If you've been paying attention to the news, you know that everything's going to hell in a water bottle. The creation of those small water containers is leading to a historic unleashing of floods and "megastorms". With the rise of fascism comes the rise of the ocean levels. We should be combatting the plastic pandemic with all we got; instead, we're ripping aspiring migrant children from their parents' arms and developing bulletproof backpacks in an immediate surrender to the inevitability of mass shooters with military-grade rifles.

I guess what I'm getting at here is,

I need to make some radical changes to my own life. And so, probably, do you. Perhaps… we make changes together.

Old Quick 'Book Blurb About Religion

Maybe there's a deity; maybe there isn't; maybe there are eighteen; maybe there's just a blue ball of fluff. MAYBE....there's a group of mortals who merely THINK they're deities. I wouldn't count on anything. If I want results, my best bet is to do something myself.

And it ain't no use talkin' about heaven or hell; the only existence of which we can be REASONABLY certain is this one right here. May as well make the most of it. Maybe even enjoy it a little bit.

New Year, Same Blogosphere

Hi! I haven't posted here in some time, but I thought I'd peek in, in the odd event that people who don't follow my other online outlets do follow this one. Σ:+)

Last year, I recorded "Purpetule Haze", the lyrics to which are a few posts below this one. And I failed to include the recording in the "demos" set that I have embedded here. Oops! That's rectified now, so that Lucy in Cyberspace visitors may now enjoy the multi-layered recording that features a plastic, glow-in-the-dark Slinky and the ASMR-inspired tapping and scratching on this same keyboard that I'm using to type this, for percussion. Also, there's vocal harmony. Still only one guitar track, though.... Sixties-inspired sounds with contemporary lyricism await you in track 3 of the first set above.

I notice that my photos in "recent" blog posts aren't displaying. I'll work on a fix when I have a moment. Everyone needs cat and Dinah pictures.

Not sure what else I have to say right now. I found part-time work in October and managed to ring in the new year there, so yay for being valued! But it is part-time (and low wage), so I still have a majority of time to wallow in loneliness and existential angst. (Purpetule Haze and Screens both touch on this latter subject...)

Thus concludes my summary of noteworthy recent developments. I wish you a year full of health, shelter, peace, and loving ones — particularly and especially loving ones in person.

Pseudo-Improv for a Grey, Post-Election Wednesday

[Originally typed up in Facebook. Transposed here intact, with font formatting added.]

Seems so quiet
I know there's life here
wasn't so long ago
it strode plain

towering Hyatt
pierced the stratosphere
room to grow
to a new plane

who would buy it
it would disappear
a seaward flow
as of rain

reverse riot
lyingly severe
a bush aglow
the flaming brain

heat will fry it
cracked and sere
perfected so
it can only complain

who could deny it
meiosis of fear
creeps from below
and will not abstain

who dares to try it
a radical shift
a bent timeline
to a better course

scattered power
perform this lift
seek to combine
each disparate resource

hour follows hour
the widening rift
the slopes decline
void of remorse

to survey and scour
to gather and sift
and fall with a whine
from soul-crushing force

and sit recessed, sour
and just vaguely miffed
to find nothing fine
that one could endorse

each passing flower
may perchance be sniffed
or wither in sunshine
doting energy source

or have weeds devour
all that's far and near
how I long to know
we can break this chain

Seems so quiet
and easy to drift
if I can just hear
even sounds of mine
then I could go
like a whipped horse
bolting from pain
to a gentle shower
and new territory
without restriction

an alien story
fact or fiction?

Krowpseed Oil (or, Channeling Carlin Again)

You know something I think ought to be done about rape? Change its name. "Rape" just isn't a scary enough sound. That long "A" actually sounds kind of pleasant, like plāying on a sunny dāy with my bāby, hoorāy! We need a rougher vowel...something like "rowpe". "Ow" is a nicely rough sOUnd, like someone getting astOUndingly pOUnded into grOUnd meat in DachAU. OUCH! And maybe stick a K in front of the whole thing. K is a nice, aggressive consonant. I think people would be more likely to think twice before committing "krowp". Which sounds a little like its cousin activity, "grope", but worse. Of course, this is a rough draft; I'm open to better suggestions. (Such as, teaching and telling our peers and children not to krowp.)

Purpetule Haze (draft, but aren't they all)

colors
burning brightly
a conflagration
screaming nightly
collide, a scope
turning slightly
its cyclic nature
seeming rightly

pressed up
against a thick pa(i)n/e
efforts to break which
all loom in væin
depression
tolls(; a/my/like) big Bane
a chain that contains
and squeezes my flailing brain

and I can't stop thinking
it does its own thing
plunging flight
to plight

and I can't help thinking
if there were just one thing
I could want
I'd be all right

(↑ ×2 with instrumental break between)

so I
gaze at the dark (light) show
the green and violet
embraced in constant flow
call it
furtive vertigo
sight that's best viewed
from so far below (in woe)

I composed a thing for an online political petition.

[slightly edited to obscure recipients' identities and better fit the blog format]

To whom it may concern:

Should you allow the use of neonicotinoid chemicals to continue, I would have to wonder if, somewhere in the last seventy years or so, some ignorant young white boys got stung by brave and innocent honey bees that they provoked, and thereafter vowed as a clan that they would exact their revenge and then some on this species that caused them a temporary physical inconvenience. Then, of course, being the ones with all the money that they made up, they dragged everyone else with them in their rush to interspecies war. The bees stung us; what would they do next? Take on a human form and kill and replace our wives?*

I'm not much interested in picking petty fights with helpless species. Nor am I much interested in "pure" suburban lawns and sidewalks. Frankly, I find these latter rather repulsive. And I certainly don't have much use for "frankenfoods" when perfectly natural fruits and vegetables do the trick just fine. I quite enjoy a good, fresh, juicy peach or nectarine. But someone has to pollinate those plants to keep them around. Who's it gonna be? Us?

I suppose it could be us, in an indirect way. Prevent the deaths of the pollinators by banning neonicotinoid pesticides and similarly harmful chemicals. Otherwise, soon, the phrase "the birds and the bees" will become completely meaningless — perhaps in more ways than one.

Natural food for thought.

Cheshire Adams
United States of America



*Perhaps they too saw that episode of the original Outer Limits. IMDB/Hulu kindly hosts "ZZZZZ" for our education, although I wonder about the scientific accuracy of the "murder" scene.

Fifteen or Sixteen Songs That Classic Rock Radio Needs to Forget (2014 edition)

In May of 2012, I posted this. Well, my tastes evolve ever slowly, and maybe the national classic rock selection also very subtly evolves, so I'm revisiting the list. Especially now that I've moved house to a completely new metro and have been running many errands with a short enough commute that it takes as long to boot my music player as it does to actually get there, I'm getting a fair dose of "One oh five nine, The Rock" and an excessively self-deprecating channel called "Jack eff em" (which looks like "Jack off 'em", when I write it that way), which seem to be the best in driving music that Nashville has to offer, in addition to a limited-selection oldies channel that brands itself rather inaccurately as "hippie radio". I have no idea what I'm going to put in the other three channel slots in the car; they're still set to central-Illinois frequencies. Urbana has better radio than "Music City". How is this possible? Nashville's native "country" music ain't even real country music these days; it's corporate vapid pop with a twang.

Anyway, here's my updated list of "classic rock" songs that I don't need to hear again. Some of the entries, especially the first few, remain unchanged from the 2012 list. Yay for copy-pasting! But, once again, I am trying to pick evenly from the master playlist — only one song per prominently featured artist.

{Oh, and as a side note, when did everyone start censoring Who (the fuck) Are You? They never did that in the old days, although they still totally excised the third verse on occasion. And hearing Gerry Rafferty sped up at that high pitch sends me into the fetal position, which is just a little awkward in a car. I despise unwarranted edits for a sanitized, corporate agenda. If those companies ran art museums, the paintings would have their bottom thirds chopped off and maybe some middle bits ripped out. Can you envision Mona Lisa with a jagged white strip where her smile should be? RESPECT THE MUSIC, PEOPLE! Man, I'm so glad when I get to drive a longer distance and can plug in my player. Totally worth the gasoline. *pant pant* Okay, here we go.}

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

I can hear all the Queen lovers and Wayne's World fans getting up in arms over this choice. The truth is, though it's a fine song on its own, cinematically sewing styles together, it has simply been played and heard far too often. Believe me, back when I was making my own mixtapes on cassette (I think I got up to eight and a half), before I discovered the blogosphere, this was on one of them. Alas, the commercial world has utterly robbed this song of its luster and rendered it a mundane lump of rock in a volcanic wasteland. But I may still listen to Weird Al's Bohemian Polka on occasion.

Foghat - Slow Ride

Oh my holy Zarquon, does this song ever end? It just goes on and on and on. It was only so good to begin with. This song has nothing to hold my interest, despite the ending that gradually speeds up as if approaching orgasm. No orgasm here, though; just another mundane "classic rock" radio song.

Foreigner - Cold as Ice

Foreigner left a few candidates for this list: "Hot Blooded", "Feels Like the First Time", "Jukebox Hero" ... but I think this one beats out the other hits in the forgettability department. "Hot Blooded" at least is cheesy in that Seventies style that never gets old. And I suppose I can grant "Jukebox Hero" its "pomp" value.

Elton John - Rocket Man

I don't know; I just feel like I've heard this song a few times too many. You'd think I'd dig it more with its space theme. It might have something to do with Sir Elton having a lot of kind of slow songs with the same uninteresting piano sound. You know what EJ song I'd like to hear on radio? "Teacher, I Need You", off Don't Shoot Me. Can you imagine anyone trying to release a song like that today? (Maybe some stations play Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" in that lyrical vein. Say, I don't have any VH on this list. Oh well.)

Blondie - One Way or Another

Commercials picked a song that was never that great to begin with and pile-drove it deep into the soggy earth. I'm giving this song the (pink) slip.

Bad Company - Can't Get Enough

Another band with plenty of choices — "Feel Like Makin' Love" and "Rock & Roll Fantasy" come to mind. This one, I decided, wins the blandness contest among Bad Company's big splashes in the classic rock cesspool.

Aerosmith - Come Together

We already have the Beatles doing this song. We already have a solid selection of Aerosmith tunes. This thing is just redundant.

The Rolling Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want

Use the "world's greatest rock & roll band" protest all you want; this thing is a snoozefest. "Sympathy For the Devil" is cuttin' it close as well.

Cheap Trick - I Want You to Want Me (live at Budokan)

I've just never liked it.

The Eagles - Take it to the Limit

Much too slow for a classic rock playlist. They made a valiant effort in making the 6/8 time signature acceptable in pop music, though.

Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight

Slow AND sappy! Piss off.

Stevie Nicks - Edge of Seventeen

Good God, this song just goes on and on and on. Stevie should have stayed with the Mac.

Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Blinded By the Light

This kind of long Springsteen cover is played out. And cutting out the solo doesn't make it much better; it's just kind of there. It could have been all right with lesser airplay, like the Earth Band's other Springsteen cover, "For You". That one has a certain freshness yet, although I think they chickened out replacing "lick my sores" with "fight my wars".

Electric Light Orchestra - Don't Bring Me Down

For a non-overplayed take on the main riff here, may I suggest Atomic Rooster's "Can't Take No More"?

....Finally, Journey. I sense some of you have been eagerly awaiting a Journey entry on this list. And I ain't one to disappoint.

Journey - Any Way You Want It

In addition to being mundane radio noise with all of "Don't Stop Believin'"'s chord progression and none of its catchiness, this song also gets regularly whored out in commercials. The dominant newspaper in middle Illinois was using it in their ads right before I moved here, just after some TV commercial or other featured two guys having a phone conversation consisting of the refrain lyrics. And then, of course, they play a snippet of the actual song, just for those few of us that may not have been exposed to it so much that they're permanently damaged from the radiation. Just — ENOUGH! I'll tell you the way I want (and therefore need) it: the fuck away from me! Begone, and never dampen my minor errand runs again!