Krowpseed Oil (or, Channeling Carlin Again)

You know something I think ought to be done about rape? Change its name. "Rape" just isn't a scary enough sound. That long "A" actually sounds kind of pleasant, like plāying on a sunny dāy with my bāby, hoorāy! We need a rougher vowel...something like "rowpe". "Ow" is a nicely rough sOUnd, like someone getting astOUndingly pOUnded into grOUnd meat in DachAU. OUCH! And maybe stick a K in front of the whole thing. K is a nice, aggressive consonant. I think people would be more likely to think twice before committing "krowp". Which sounds a little like its cousin activity, "grope", but worse. Of course, this is a rough draft; I'm open to better suggestions. (Such as, teaching and telling our peers and children not to krowp.)

Not Every Free Thing is a Gift (Indeed, Very Few Things Are)

The past couple days saw yet another story of a career politician (a gop, natch) making a pro-rape comment. And naturally, those days also saw many people expressing outrage online. The question I gotta ask is this: how are these people allowed into politics in the first place? I'm not convinced that they're all beamed down from some supernatural, misogynist, bigoted mothership. I believe that they are created and installed by us — the people.

Ladies of the U.S., I hate to tell you this, but here it is: The people of this country are firmly primitive and regressive, and there is no possible short-term "change" that will reverse this and so quickly make us a females' utopia.

The prevailing idea in much of the country seems to be that the future is inexorably bleak — in all respects — and that the "old days" were better. Somewhere in people's minds, we were at our highest quality of life in the days when men had complete and utter control, and that slight majority of us known as women were essentially considered commodities — not even human. It was only a little less than a hundred years ago when that slight majority was first granted the right to vote. I wasn't there at the time, but I expect that the women's vote was granted with tremendous reluctance. That reluctance has not faded in the least; indubitably, it is increasing with the presence of all these "regressives" — people who seem to see a long-established religion as permitting and encouraging rape. (I stumbled upon this on a humor site compiling "Unintentionally Sexual Church Signs", and I honestly cannot fathom another way to interpret it. "To forgive is divine! Be a deity! Do what we goddam tell you to!")

No. Do not be sub-human deities. Be humans. Stand tall for yourselves — for ourselves. We got a lot of work to do yet. We may not see positive results in our lifetimes yet. But we have to try.

Teach peace. Teach equality. If you can, teach all the people how to recognize and avoid these. (A reputable-enough source, yes?) And, if you must be religious, at least be very careful with how you interpret your sacred texts. It may take a generation or three for us to come to the point where we aren't electing people and then getting faux-outraged when one of them claims that rape is a gift (basically, paraphrased). And, who knows? Maybe by then we'll have shifted out of reverse as a people and actually rendered our future brighter than it seems now.

Meanwhile, we have to hang in there and work/vote for what is available, while it seems we still can.

The Day Blogger Went All Femality

A handful of people in the wild, wacky world of Facebook have proclaimed this "the day Facebook went all Vagina". I guess this is what counts in this country as a protest, after the Michigan incident where a female house speaker was barred from speaking after using the word vagina in a (pro-women's-rights) speech. Okay, granted that censorship in general is a huge problem here and elsewhere that seems to be getting inexorably worse; nevertheless, I'd like to know who all — what kind of people — were behind the decision to bar this speaker. I have a hunch.

I'm not sure I've mentioned this in public so much, but I'm kind of a feminist. I'd very much like to see a matriarchal society emerge here in this digital age. I'm sure the patriarchy has been excellent for self-protective nation-states in the days before globalization, but as we come together as peoples, the need for the male brand of aggressive "conquer at all costs" leaders diminishes. Heck, if this country is any indication, the idea backfires when the leaders have nothing left to plunder but their own people. And, maybe you've noticed this, but our leaders/plunderers tend, perhaps overwhelmingly, to be men. I say, put the men to their more natural strengths — domestic physical and related labor — and get more women in charge. At least just to try it. See what the womanly touch can do for a nation — and a globalized world.

Although, perhaps somewhere within, men know they're on the way out. That might be why so many of them are quick to strip women of basic, natural needs and expressions, apparently now going so far as to prohibit use of the proper term for the female reproductive outlet.

This may be some perverse release for the men, but it is not healthful to us as a people, and I am not convinced that we're doing enough to stop it. What we need to do, I'm not sure. But if it helps ease talks between the sides, I'd like to propose a new euphemism for vagina (and other female reproductive parts). Hey, I'll be honest: vagina really isn't all that pretty a word to describe an often pretty thing.* (I have the same complaint about "orgasm".) I used this new term in my song "Sweet Release" (read and listen a few posts from the top of the blog). The term is... "femality".

This is not to be confused with "femininity". Femininity is more about qualities that play into the traditional gender role of the girl/woman. Pink, flowery dresses, long hair, quiet subservience...those are feminine qualities. Femality is simply the physical quality of being female. It's a perfectly honorable thing to have.

So if you got it, let it rock. And don't let the government or other slimy bastards get all up in your femality! Stand up for yourselves! And maybe...just maybe...take full control.



*I guess it's a pretty thing; I've not had the pleasure of encountering (m)any vaginas.