Speak Our Consciences in a Soft, Sharp Whisper

(Previously: Speak of it Only in a Soft, Sharp Whisper (September 2012), and Speak of it in a Soft, Sharp Whisper Some More (August 2013))

Two passing thoughts on the subject of meridian, or "ASMR", before I get to the meat of what's in my mind:

• I have never been terribly keen on describing the feeling of meridian as a "tingle". "Tingle", in my mind, suggests a sort of neutrally extraneous sensation — something like the strongly minty, lingering taste in one's mouth after using a good mouthwash. Meridian, I think, is better described as a euphoric PULSE or spasm. But, I suppose a two-word, four-or-five-syllable phrase is a bit awkward in casual conversation and YouTube comments, isn't it.....

• Although the sensation is more easily triggered on my right side — that is to say, the right side of my back, usually — it tends to be more strongly felt on the left side, once the left ear has heard enough for the sensation to sort of "break through". I guess my left needs to be "primed" a moment before it kicks into full gear. If the "video" to which I've meristurbated (for those who missed it in part two, link above, this original word means "indulged in meridian") has been sufficiently effective, I'll sometimes be unable to fully lean back into my chair without the euphoria in my left mid-lower back asserting itself, a full minute or two after the video has finished. Somehow, my right prefers it quick and immediate; it's yet to linger post-trigger the way it does on the left.

Now, then...

There's a quality, or a trend, I've noticed of late in my lonely, after-hours meridian pursuits, and it rather ties in with my personal politics, which I've revealed on this blog on a number of occasions. It is this: the videos that I'm finding provide the strongest and most effective triggers, and therefore the videos I'm pursuing and "favoriting", are the ones that are crystal clear and unfiltered — breaths go directly in the ear, so strongly that I can practically smell the ASMRtist's breath. Also, I can easily hear and know when they are moving from one ear to the other; they're not just staying totally in one place while they deliver a line or two.

Summarily: The videos that best simulate an actual person being with me, the viewer/listener, are the best.

Try this one on for sighs (sic). (Embedding disabled by request: Air Light - Inaudible, unintelligible binaural whisper 3D)

Despite the Zappa-esque artistic style where different recorded bits are repeated and overdubbed throughout the piece (Zappa's "Freak Out" especially comes to mind on the grounds that I get meridian off "It Can't Happen Here", which has an up-close backup vocal in the right channel; "No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no, man you guys are gonna be SAFE, everything's COOL."), it is delightfully obvious that the recordings are done by an actual human being. (Not that some ASMRtists aren't human, mind you.) She audibly moves from directly in one ear, to more the back of the neck, closer back to the ear, then to the other ear, and so on. I smell her breath at certain junctures with P and K sounds; as poorly as our language puts names to scents, her breath is simply authentically human — not wholly foul, nor quite the aroma of a good meal freshly prepared in the kitchen — just simply human. Perhaps I remember the smell from somewhere in my past — a casual, unmemorable encounter in my far too numerous days of academia wherein I was in enough distance of a young girl speaking to catch a whiff. It's lively. And real. The combination of humanity, artistic endeavor, and, of course, super-effective meridian triggers, make this quite probably my all-time favorite "merideo" (ASMR video).

And so my political side flares up. Where are all the people in my life who would be willing to speak to me so intimately and closely? Our culture doesn't quite encourage that, does it? Occasionally, somewhat rarely, I feel meridian wholly by accident when being spoken to normally from about arm's length, as happened while I was receiving instruction on working with produce on the opening day of the discount grocery at which I'm working for about three more weeks until I move to greater Nashville. How did I manage to feel meridian in a joyous, happening atmosphere like that of a store's grand opening? I don't know. But, anomalies like that aside, nobody's exactly going out of their way to be in an intimate setting and tone with me, are they? And it's totally weird and un-American to sort of "nudge" anyone in that direction. Ideal meridian conditions do tend to lean toward the same kind of conditions that are often reserved for romantic endeavors — two people otherwise alone, in a close, quiet space. If I've ever been part of anyone's romantic endeavors, they have failed to tell me about it in all my nearly twenty-eight earth years.

I'm reminded all over again of how I'm completely alone and how our society seems to encourage that kind of thing. Get a steady job sitting at a desk all day. Drive to and from that job — the lone occupant in your vehicle. Squabble with your spouse, kids and parents at home; your connection is purely biological. Modern western culture, with all its endless flavors, passing technology and varieties, has pretty much fragmented us as people. We see too many differences between each of us for us to overcome them, and we don't make good connections anymore. At best, I get generally friendly people giving generally friendly greetings and offers on which they'll never follow through. We're just going through the motions, cogs in the machine, our teeth slowly eroding.

I wonder about the lives of the ASMRtists. The ASMRtist ranks are pretty well dominated by women — just an occasional male along the way — making videos in their own rooms or studios, with only themselves in them. What kind of families do they have? Are they romantically involved with anyone? They most all seem like they could easily sway a mate or two from the crowd, such kindly faces with sweet, soft voices. Do they often get to experience an actual live-action trigger from a human being in the same room? Will I get to meet anybody like this? ASMRtists are spread all over the globe. Air Light, who undoubtedly knows and understands the basic mechanics of meridian, is......Ukrainian, I believe....? I follow people in Russia, Deutschland, the UK, Australia, and probably some Americans, although that doesn't exactly narrow anything down. Is anyone near Nashville? Meet for a malt at Mike's some time?

I'm a lonely meridiot—
fringe and unfocused
a random poet
a runaway train
without a platform
a purple square
on a Rubik's Cube
a round peg
on an unstrung guitar
I got a
        way with words
a cat
      burglar
in an open desert
I adapt to survive
but can I live?

Um.......what the hell just happened to me? All right, yeah. So, I think I may attempt to produce a piece of ASMRtwork for YouTube. I may just read this series of blog posts. My microphone is horribly cheap — and naked. Listen for breaths that pierce. And hopefully trigger. (I have, in the past, gotten meridian from my own voice on "Thirst (Ambrosia)". Is this okay?)

Swell Saturday, cyber citizens,
~C.A., from Chicago~

Eight More Favorite Albums

So I thought I'd post something rather more positive after that lash at commercial radio below. Enjoy!

July - July

I can't believe I forgot about this one in the first "Favorite Albums" installment. This is one of the cornerstones of classic British psychedelia.

"Mothers say, stay away far as you can, friendly man."

Boston - Boston

So after my post about commercial "classic rock" radio, I go and endorse the album with More Than a Feeling on it. What the hey? Well, I happen to think that More Than a Feeling retains its freshness and just outruns the blurred line of overplayedness. Indeed, I think that the whole album retains a crisp, fresh and unique sound. Well, maybe Rock & Roll Band is just a bit stale.

"Now you're climbin' to the top of the company ladder / Hope it doesn't take too long / Can't you see there'll come a day when it won't matter / Come a day when you'll be gone."

Ananda Shankar - Ananda Shankar

Ravi's nephew released this marriage of East and West in 1970. I actually haven't spun this in a while; I need to again.

"He belongs equally to us all."

Frank Zappa - Joe's Garage

Zappa takes an utterly horrifying three-LP look at this society's views on music, taken to their logical extremes, as only the supernaturally intelligent Zappa can.

"I've got it — I'll be sullen and withdrawn. I'll dwindle off into the twilight realm of my own secret thoughts...."

Rainbow Ffolly - Sallies Fforth

Something lighter-hearted to follow up the insanity of Joe's Garage: an unfinished, playful pop-psych record from the UK in '68. Excellent pop songwriting, randomish non-sequitur segues....such qualities don't often show up on albums.

"Come on Noah! Eat up your curried unicorn!"

Steve Miller Band - Fly Like an Eagle

Les Paul's eager student flaunts his psychedelic side in 1976 with the finest in outer-space production, but not without acknowledging his roots. Just a captivating listening experience.

"We're lost in space, and the time is our own."

Anonymous - Inside the Shadow

That's just the band's name; they're not actually anonymous. What they are is a thoroughly excellent sort of hybrid of the Byrds, Jefferson Airplane, and maybe a touch of the kind of "power pop" that had established itself by 1976, when this came out. Wonderful, other-worldly sounds from Indianapolis.

"Will you ride?"

Sopwith Camel - The Miraculous Hump Returns From the Moon

From 1972. Think "Vaudeville in space". The album has some nice jazzy touches as well.

"Who's gonna go on all those trips in outer space?"

Eight Favorite Albums

Before the next — hopefully my final — semester starts, I wanted to jot this down in a place where I can count on it not getting "pruned". The original version of this was utterly magnificent, I tell you.

Joni Mitchell - Court & Spark

It was roughly junior year of high school when I first heard this, and it actually took a couple listens before the magic poked my brain sharply and permanently scarringly. An already great lyricist has honed her instrumentation skills to leap into supernatural musical realms.

"Laughing and crying, you know it's the same release."

Churchill's - Churchill's

Mostly British psychedelic rock, recorded in Tel Aviv, and indeed bearing certain musical traits of that region. This is fuzz at its finest.

"Straight people...turn them all on now."

Frank Zappa & the Mothers of Invention - We're Only in it For the Money

Described by some as "Sgt. Pepper's evil twin", this simultaneous jab at the establishment and the counter-culture in 1968 will blow your brain apart in much the way that the "flower punk"'s brain blows apart right before your ears on this record. Relentless experimentation and effects make it.

"You'll be absolutely free only if you want to be."

Caravan - In the Land of Grey & Pink

Caravan seem to me the most "accessible" of the Canterbury bands — a scene centered around a sort of progressive jazz-pop sound. This is probably their finest moment, marrying that sound with a sense of humor (or humour) and a knack for catchiness and memorability, with the side-long "Nine Feet Underground" providing that other-worldly journey that stays with the listener long after it's ended.

"These dreams are always ending far too soon."

Steely Dan - Aja

Say what you will about the 'Dan; this is a bloody good album.

"Could it be that I have found my home at last?"

White Noise - An Electric Storm

Some BBC Radiophonic Workshop people played around in the studio after hours and produced a uniquely spooky record, filled with whooshes and other odd sound effects from relentless tape manipulation and experimentation. "The Visitation" is downright chilling.

"Why do you let it hold you? Life must be lived in full view. In every sin, there must be pride. Your hidden dreams can't be denied."

Spirit - Twelve Dreams of Dr. Sardonicus

Many styles of memorable, well-crafted pop/rock songs. Simple as that.

"Oh no, you got too much to lose; got to get on home to the animal zoo."

The End - Introspection

Bill Wyman of the Stones produced this album of British pop-psych that was perfect for the time they recorded it — 1967. Sadly, the album's release was delayed until two years later, when pop-psych was long-history in the minds of record buyers, and the album sank with nary a trace. Luckily, it didn't perish altogether.

"You can't hide inside a dream."

Who's the more out-of-time....

....the child who sings a song from Frank Zappa's debut in the year 2010, or the child's mother who asks him/her, "Why can't you sing any normal songs?"

Classy

Right. This semester I'm fully intent on my second attempt at the "Intro to Narrative Writing" class that seems to be the prerequisite for my relatively new major, which is Rhetoric. Apparently, I have no trouble at all being in charge of a blog with nice little short-and-to-the-point messages that are easy to digest. Coming up with ideas for a full-blown "short story," on the other hand, is rather more of a challenge for me. Last semester, I was in the class for maybe three or four weeks before declining mental health at the time dictated that I drop down to one class. Had I stayed with that class, three short stories plus a revision would have been required from me in the space of some fifteen weeks. With the trouble I have coming up with one idea, coming up with three ideas would take me.....geez....a LOT more than a semester, that much I can tell you. Now, I certainly don't expect the structure of the class to change very much, so.....(deep breath).....I'm going to try. I'm going to bloody well try.

But I think I have my first idea now: a young blogger tries to persuade "the establishment" that old-style literature has had its day, and that The Blog is the new form of popular literature—simple blocks of ideas in simple language for a simple-minded public. (No offense.....) Unsuccessful with the mainstream, our hero(ine) goes underground and stirs the boiling cauldron of revolution, or some such metaphor, and sees just a small bit of progress right before his/her untimely demise........

How 'bout it? Worthy of anything?


(Forgive me if this post seems unfocused; listening to Zappa and writing at the same time is a bit of a trick.......)

Adams' Theory, No. 49

Far out. Been up for some twenty-eight hours now. I have a theory that the more tired I am, the trippier my writing is. Just a theory.

You ever sit at the front of an otherwise empty bus (except the driver....) and just gaze around the rest of the bus.....? After a short while, does it look like a toy model or something....? All those seats and support bars? Does it seem like something you could easily pick up with two fingers and a thumb and run back and forth on a track making RUUMMM—RUUUMMMM noises?

Finished the semester today. Yay! Nine down, TBD to go.......

Just a theory.

Someone suggested to me today that Vitamin D may be helpful in regulating circadian rhythms. Hmm....eh....it's worth a shot, I suppose. I doubt I'll be able to afford a two-hundred dollar light box. I wonder if that prescription has an expiration date......

Zappa for the holidays.....Zappa for the holidays......

All this buzz about the Obamas' new puppy......Why a puppy? Why not a kitten? Is someone allergic? It seems you only ever see cats in the media nowadays being made fun of in stupid Internet "viral" videos......

WHEN YOUR ECONOMY HAS COMPLETED ITS COLLAPSE, YOU'LL BE WASTING AWAY IN THE REMAINS OF THE STREETS, AND THE CATS WILL RULE THE WORLD! YOU WILL SUBMIT TO THEIR EVERY WHIM OR SUFFER AT THE PAWS OF THEIR NEW TECHNO-CLAWS, WHICH THEY GOT TO REPLACE THE CLAWS THAT WERE SO BRUTALLY TAKEN FROM THEM SO LONG AGO..........

Just a theory.

Speaking of Claus, can anyone tell it's December? Christmas has been advertising since at least early August. ("Putting up that real Christmas tree can send you straight to the dugout." —some artificial tree company advertising during a Cubs game) I wonder how the future's historians will interpret our culture...... "They worshipped* a god called 'Santa Claus,' and they believed that they would achieve eternal salvation if they regularly sacrificed small bits of paper to the high priests, which were also called 'corporations'........"

Yeah. Jesus would totally approve of this.

I think if I ever wrote a holiday-flavored song, I would call it "Visions of Sugar Plums." Or maybe replace "sugar plums" with some slang term for a drug that resembles "sugar plums." Yeah. It would be a meandering pseudo-prog-rock-type-thing with some psychedelic tendencies. And it would have anti-romantic lyrics that border on jarring. Just the thing. I get sick of traditional holiday music pretty darn quickly.

Just a theory.

The United States of America. Yes. Just the thing. As soon as I can dig out my turntable from underneath all these papers and who-knows-whats....what is this, a measuring tape?....good grief...., I'm going to play this record. It's been far too long since I've heard it.

I've been taking a class on modernist poetry. Now I'm having nightmares where my words are all utterly obscure references. Thank Zarquon they're only nightmares........

Just a theory.

Far out. Been up for some twenty-nine hours now. I have a theory that the more tired I am, the more random and meandering any blog posts I make are likely to be.

Hope I did well on that final. It was a take-home......

Back on the other side of dinner and/or a good nocturnal anomaly's sleep........

Zappa for the holidays.....Zappa for the holidays......



Just a theory.


*I prefer to spell it that way. So there.